Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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