It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
