No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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