I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
