You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
