so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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