i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Randomize
