Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Sorry about my life...
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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