Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
