STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
