I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
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