There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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