I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
