Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize