so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize