Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
No subtext here. People are naked.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
