You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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