it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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