It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize