What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
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