community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
