If i come over, it means nothing
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
