talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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