We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
You were trust falling into bushes
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
