But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
