my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
