Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
porn star boner night. come get it.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
They have beer where we have blood.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
