too bad you live with your parents still
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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