She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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