from now on my penis is your penis
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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