I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
