No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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