So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
