Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
