And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
