I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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