dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
