that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
