i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
