i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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