i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Randomize
