new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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