Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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