Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
