There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
