I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
