Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
