Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
