Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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