Acid is not a monday night drug
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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