Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize