waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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