people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
