Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
