y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize