their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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