my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
