Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
