Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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