I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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