I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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