Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
