Fine. I'll sleep in my office
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize