how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
