...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
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